A Fangirl's thoughts

Still from this blog
http://satopi3104.livejournal.com/2008/06/29/

As each member made their appearance, I smiled as I recognized the members. However, one of them I did not recognize. "Who was that guy that sauntered into the screen after Matsujun? Oh... he can actually sort of sing. A Johhny's who can sing? What?" were my thoughts. And then, the Ohno dance moment at 1:05 happened. It was brief, it was in the background, but I still remember the jolt I got. It was definitely love at first sight for me. Cupid's arrow, all that jazz. I watched that moment - his downcast eyes, the way his jacked moved as he swung his arms, the clarity of his movement and rhythm- and wanted to know who the hell that was. Thanks to the internet that wasn't hard. And here I am, over a year later.

Sometimes I wish I never looked up Matsujun on youtube. Arashi occupies my mind so much I am concerned about whether I will be able to concentrate on my school work come fall. I find it so frustrating and depressing to not be in Japan. I find myself embarassed that at my age, I am fangirling over a boy band. I have no one I can share my fandom with and it's lonely. Then again, a part of me doesn't want to share. Seeing images of other fangirls make me feel rather weird, because I don't see myself as part of them.

I don't know what to say. I feel the same way!

Well, I'm not Japanese but I know exactly how she feels.

I think I'm a bit old for doing these stuff. Yes, even though a lot of people would say that fandom doesn't really impose an age limit, people grow up. I'm not saying that fandom is for young ones only. I'm just saying that fangirling is mostly done by young people.

I remember reading one post about Ooshima meeting someone who was in her 60s who watched the DAL concert of ARashi. Sorry just crossed my mind.

Back to my topic.

The reason why I'm bothered with my age and my addiction is that I rarely see fans having the same age as mine (considering that people are declaring their true ages). But honestly, I forget how old I am when I'm doing some fangirl stuff. I feel like I'm the same age as the people I'm talking to!

I have been mesmerized by Ohno too! This guy is totally amazing.

Do I sometimes whish I hadn't seen YTM at all? Uhhmmm... I don't know. Knowing Arashi is one of the best or worst things that happened to me. I'm happy everytime I feed my addiction. But all sorts of addictions are harmful at times right? I just don't know how bad my addicition is right now but I think I can still control it.